Don’t Take it Personally
All of the information, understanding and validation cannot prevent symptoms from popping up at times. When symptoms do arise, she may take her frustrations out on you, and this makes sense. You are there in the same room. You are a trusted support. You are the perfect target.
Oddly enough, under large amounts of stress, people tend to victimize their closest friends, family and relationships. There is a safety in expressing her feelings towards you because you are less likely to overreact or take it heart.
Taking the words she says or the behaviors she performs too personally helps no one in this situation. That does not mean that you dismiss everything she says and does, but it does mean that you work to find a balance between what is rational and what is fueled by menopause.
Creating and maintaining that balance will help with your own frustrations. Remember, if you become too frustrated, you can no longer help her.
Support New Directions
During the menopause stages, women have difficulty with the shift in their identity. It forces them to rediscover themselves, their relationships and their interests. The best thing that you can do is support her efforts to find herself.
Maybe she will be interested in taking a new class or joining a group in the community. Maybe she will reinvest time in church or other activities. This is perfectly normal and healthy. It is not an indication that she is angry with you or trying to sneak away. It only means that she is taking steps towards finding new happiness.
This may be last, but it is not the least important. No matter what stage of menopause she is experiencing, having fun should be your goal. Too often, couples fall into routines and ruts that are unfulfilling for each person.
Additionally, during stressful times associated with menopause, you may be more likely to avoid your wife for fear that you will irritate her. This plan only serves to diminish the relationship.
Rather than avoid, plan fun activities and events together. Go places that you have wanted to go and do the things that you have put off doing. Having fun will strengthen the relationship and make it easier to accomplish the other suggestions listed. Fun makes even stressful periods more pleasant.
You will never know what it’s like to have your last menstrual cycle, but that doesn’t mean that menopause just passes you by. Show your wife how much she means to you by investing your time, effort and energy in understanding her and helping her through this time of change.
Being a team always makes you a better mate.