Divorce Contributors
- Caring for elderly family – As your children leave the home, your responsibilities may shift from the younger generation to the older generation. As your family ages, they may require more attention and assistance from you. These shifting roles create uncertainty and tension in your life.
- Career change – During this time of transition, you may be returning to work after a period off or reinvesting time and energy into your career because of the lessened responsibilities at home. Whatever the case, the change in work status can create stress and changing roles at home for you and your husband.
Divorce Diminishers
If your relationship has a chance of survival, you must act quickly and decidedly to undo further damage. At times, you may feel that avoiding and escaping the relationship is best. This is rarely the case, though. Successful relationships are built on increasing positive experiences more than avoiding the negatives. Do you want to boost the relationship and keep the influence of menopause to a minimum? Here’s how:
- Talk menopause. Unsurprisingly, starting to improve your relationship begins with communication. After all, why do most marriages end? They end because of a lack of communication. Not only a lack of communication, they end because of a lack of assertive communication. Speak to your husband about your experience of menopause. Share with him the physical and emotional symptoms of menopause so that he has an opportunity to assist with your needs. Do not assume that he knows what you are going through, but do assume that he is interested in helping. Likewise, be comfortable and understanding of his confusion and answer his questions. This area is trial and error. You will need several conversations to express your views in a clear, concrete way.
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- Talk sex. Sex is a significant part of any marriage. Not enough can lead to problems while too much can lead to problems of another sort. Women report experiencing changes in sexual interest, comfort and pleasure during perimenopause and life after menopause. Some enjoy the freedom that comes with not worrying about pregnancy and being liberated from birth control. Others report that feeling less physically appealing to their husbands, low libido and vaginal dryness are reasons to decrease sexual activities. Communicate your concerns and frustrations to your husband using a teammate approach. Too often, people become confrontational with others that want the same thing. Together you can accomplish more than working individually.
